|Stolen from The Rich. Modified. Given to Everyone Else.
||[Apr. 10th, 2005|09:06 pm]
|||||"when the sun goes down..."||]|
The truth will set you free. But first, it's going to piss you off.
"A freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother."
"I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry, because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?"
"The deepest waters run with the least noise."
"Blessed are those that can give without remembering and take without forgetting."
"Life is like a penis. When it gets hard, fuck it."
"Experience is a hard teacher. It gives the test first, the lessons last."
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better."
"Of course I don't look as busy as the men; I did it right the first time."
"Do not stand in a place of danger trusting in miracles."
Good god. Amen.
"Everyone needs recognition for his accomplishments, but few people make the need known quite as clearly as the little boy who said to his father: 'Let's play darts. I'll throw and you say 'Wonderful!'"
"Love teaches even asses to dance."
"One meets his destiny often in the road he takes to avoid it."
"Be honorable with yourself if you wish to associate with honorable people."
"Before enlightenment?chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment?chop wood, carry water."
"The measure of one's real character is what they would do if they would never be found out."
"There is evidence that the brain is like a computer. If that's true, then there really aren't any stupid people, just people running DOS."
"Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich."
"Definition of a lecture: a means of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the student without passing through the minds of either."
-graffiti at Warwick University
"He that jokes confesses."
"People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first."
"The fear of women is the basis of good health."